Morning Tears

make your morning tears water for the seeds of pleasant thoughts sown in your fertile day.  Seeds that will spourt up through the course of day, and blossom with colorful petals that will soak in the rays of your smile.

TODAY

The enigma that is a new day, better yet tomorrow, is what encourages us to raise our heads in spite of knowledge of yesterday

Reality Vs Circumstance

"Reality is as we shape it, we all but fragile flames left to the mercy of the strong winds of circumstance."

Once upon a time

T

there once was a smile which made my world beautiful
There once was a kiss in which i could get lost
There once was a heart which over flowed with passion
There once was a soul in which my heart found peace
There once was a woman i thought i could never stop loving
There once was a time when i thought i lost it all

you

remove the tranquility, the harmony, the peace
cast me into mid blindness amongst the mist
Remove the smile, the laughter, that harmony
and forever i shall have a companion called lonely
in short remove you
and my heart will of happiness be starved.

Torn Sails

I am set a drift upon this lonely dark sea, absent your wind in my sails.  With a cargo of uncertainty the ocean is displaced.  I must face many dawns not knowing  if sleep found you well, and have that compounded at dusk cause I know not if the day gave cause for smile or an explosion of your laughter. Upon my bow savage waves rage unrelentingly, bleeding upon my deck memories of you.  I rush too mop up, with hand, these memories, my solice, but instead  splinters cut at my sails as I sail upon this empty dark ocean.   Even the night sky is empty, no longer am I guided by the stars of your eyes, instead, from the dark sky rains tears of your pain.  Upon skinned knees I sail upon this empty dark ocean.

Year in Review

How do you asses your year.  I think it would be bested stated by saying i am the same place i was last year at this time, KINDA.  The most prevailing thoughts in my head is still Kehsia,Wenzel and finance, non of which i have been able to get a hold on.  My finances are somewhat improved but still not where i would like to have them and still a burden.  

Well wenzel is just a burden that i have been dealing with for the past 3 years.  I would like to say there is something about her and what she adds to my life that i could hang the vested time, energy and thought in but i just can't find any, accept some twist devotion of love.  There is some glimmer of hope as we haven't spoken in almost a month and as much as i wish to hear her voice once again and know she is doing as messier able as i am , i thing it better to embrace this as the end.  Shame truthfully cause i have dedicated some much time, love and pain to being with this woman.

 Kehsia, no amount of words will summarize the breadth, depth or girth that i have to endure with this woman.  This tumultuous relationship we have is the bane of my existence. I CAN DO NO MORE.  For the sake of my son and some false committment to hear i endure but i say to you on this the last day of 2014 NO MORE...

Then there is the finances, the one bright spot of the year.  I was able to make considerable progress in the direction of getting closer to and end. With only about $3000 left i am proud of the strides that i make.