Shedding

Its the New Years Eve (2012) and i find myself like i have all year long; ALONE.  About to head out with my cousin and a few friends, for a night of drinking and to bring in the new year, but inside i am alone.  Its easy to surround yourself with a thousand people yet still be alone, to allow you mind to be capture by other things so ought not to remember that you are alone.  It hard  when the people/person you choose to be with is always the answer to the question, who is absent.  It painful looking into the mirror of love and there is no reflection.  That is a tough burden to log around all year long, so i shed that load.  For 2 years now my confidence, my arrogance and my smile have been on a sabbatical, 2012 they return.  I am going into 2012 with the knowledge that loving in vain hurts, just as much as not loving at all.